There's a part of me that'd really like to sink into the depths of my victim-hood about COVID. After all, for the last 9 months, I have primarily been in a state of anxiety, fear, deep sadness, and if I let myself really feel... rage. 😡
I want to be with my friends. I want to hug my niece. I want to smile at strangers. I want my partner's daughter to be able to go to school and be with her friends in whatever way she wants. I want to host potlucks. I want to play board games with my siblings and cousins. I want to be able to walk in shared spaces without worrying about masks and hand sanitizer.
I'm remembering something someone said to me when I was grieving the loss of an important relationship:
"Rachel, what would be the gift of this, if it happened for you instead of to you?"
At that time it was only a matter of months, that I had lost my partner, my house, and my job. Aside from the sheer grief of that compounded loss, there was a voice in my head that really wanted to point the finger at who was responsible and wallow in how THIS WAS NOT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. I really believed that it was happening to me.
And yet...that question challenged me to step away from that voice. When I reflected on that question, I felt my soul lighten.
While I’m not wanting to compare a break-up to a pandemic, I can see how this is yet another opportunity for me to ask myself that same question. And I'll invite you to ask yourself the same...
What would be the gift of COVID if this was happening for you instead of to you?
Don't get me wrong. Grief is real... and I am in no way indicating that anyone's feelings about COVID and the many losses associated with it should be shaped into some positive rhetoric.
In fact, I thoroughly encourage you to feel all the feels and I'm inviting us all to empower ourselves to use the drab slab of clay life has dropped into our lap into something resembling a useful vase. 🏺
It's up to us forage life for the gifts it bears, especially when they are well hidden.
Warmly,
Rachel ❤️🙏
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